Is this really true?

The people who know me well would be the first to tell you that I can be pretty cynical. I can generate a list of all the people and things I dislike in five seconds flat. And trust me, it will be a long, detailed list. But when it comes to love, I turn into a giant mush. I can’t form coherent sentences. I become an emotional wreck who sobs — at an iPhone commercial (yes, that happened).

Love is the most freeing experience there is. I don’t care if you’ve climbed a mountain or bungee-jumped off of the Manhattan Bridge — these experiences are nothing compared to being in love. Opening up emotionally reveals a side of you that you might have never known existed, be it positive or negative. Some days I feel like I can conquer the world because I’m so happy, and other days I feel like I could wage war against the girl who dared to try and socialize with my boyfriend. Most days it’s a nice, sane balance between the two.


But as grand and amazing as love is, I cannot write about it and how it truly makes me feel. I’ve read countless articles and essays on being in love that are so beautiful they make me shed a tear (I told you, I’m a mush when it comes to love). And yet, when I try and convey that feeling in my own words, I completely blank. I stare at my computer, struggling to find synonyms for “happy” and “great.” I’ve finally come to the conclusion that there are no words to describe the true depth and power of love, or at least not the love I feel. No flowery adjectives can expressive that moment when you look into someone’s eyes and feel real love. Yeah, it’s pretty freakin’ great, but I don’t think “great” does it justice. Britney Spears got it right with the line, “when your eyes say it, that’s when I know that it’s true.” Words don’t mean much when it comes to love.

Love is usually described with a slew of cliché and gushy metaphors, like “love is the first day of spring” or “love is sunshine after a cloudy day.” What about all the times being in love makes you feel terrible? What about when you’re fighting with your significant other and you feel like you truly, deeply hate him? Or you feel so worn out and confused that you don’t even want to get out of bed? Not to say that love isn’t also all of the wonderful things, but it is much more complex than most people make it out to be.

The best moments of my relationship are usually indescribable. Of course I love the date nights, the dinners, the nights we stay in and watch movies, the days that we laughed until our stomaches hurt. These things all make me feel really, really [insert synonym for happy]. But if someone asked me to describe exactly what was going on in my head during one of those moments, I wouldn’t know what to say. Maybe I can’t describe it because this is true, perfect love… or maybe I’m just being a mush again.

My Queen B

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” 

-Hellen Keller

To this girl I'm with in the picture, I just want you to put in my little space in the internet since you're my sister, girlfriend, joke time friend, corny friend, stupid friend, mentor, and mother (dahil mas tinalo mo pa yung nanay ko sa pag sermon sakin). 

Okay. Yun lang. Bye! Naahh, just kidding!

Being friends is about sharing our lives with others. There are some aspects of our lives that require that we spend a lot of time together or a lot of writing to help convey our feelings. Other times sharing only a few words are more than adequate. It is not always the long conversation that conveys the deepest feelings. Sometimes, longer modes of expression may seem redundant and lacking in profundity. Putting just the right combination of words on paper in a succinct style may just hit the spot.

Our friendship came out very unexpectedly seeing that our age gap is 4 years. I'm 17 and you're 21. We do not even call each other as bestfriend because we got our own. Then poof!! You became coco crunch! I don't know when we really started hanging out but then I felt that we will be good friends for a long time. You're the meanest person I've ever met! How could I not be annoyed whenever I see you. Or whenever I vent in to you in terms of being heart broken again and again, you say "You're stupid!" Hahaha! But I love that! Even though that's the way you treat me sometimes, you're still the funniest, most caring, understanding, best adviser, and best sister I could ever have! 

I can tell you every single detail about my life yet you don't judge me. I never heard you saying "Wala ka na bang ibang ik kwento?" cos you never get tired of me. You taught me how to stand and be strong. 

We've been buddies since 2012 and became sister later on. It's what we've been waiting for, isn't it? For you, having litte sister and for me, someone I will call "ate". *heart heart*  Hindi ka ba kinikilig? :D Keeping in touch once or twice a week (I think) proves me that people can be friends even though they don't talk or see each other as always. You protect, comfort, and advice me in my blue days. Apparently, I always encounter heartaches and dramas so you're like a wonderwoman to rescue me. And well you know, I can be your wingman... always. You never get tired of my same dilemmas in life.

Sometimes I'm terrified that one day this friendship might end just like any other friendship I counted in. I'm not perfect friend but at least I know how to be true. And you may count on me like 1.. 2.. 3.. :)

Sarah Jane! Swear please we can't be FO! NEVER.

And we'll never be royals

It don't run in our blood,

That kind of luxe just ain't for us.

We crave a different kind of buzz

Let you be my ruler

I can call you my Queen Bee

Love you forevs! :*

Happy New Year!

Hola! It's been a while since I posted my last blog. So here it is.. It's the 1st of 365 days. Happy 2014 to ya'll. Before I'll go to sleep and shut down this computer I remembered that I waited for 1 month for this day. So I decided to blog my reflections all about the year 2013. But before that,  lemme share to you the Bible Reflection I just read.

LIKE A GIANT PUZZLE

Do you know how big the largest jigsaw puzzle in the world is? It has 24,000 pieces! And you can buy it for 20,000. But you have to pay me for 20,000 to do this puzzle, which I think I'll be able to finish in 300 years. Here's my message: Your past is like a giant jigsaw puzzle- and God is putting the pieces together to make a beautiful picture of your future. But your special Jigsaw puzzle has billions of pieces. And each event in your past is like one piece of the puzzle.

Each piece makes no sense. On its own, it means nothing. It only means something if you put them together. Once you put them together, you say, "Aha!"

There are some pieces that are so dark, you'd wonder, "What use is this particular dark piece?" But each dark piece has a purpose. Without those dark pieces, the puzzle won't be complete.

As God worked in Mary's life, so does He work in ours. Let us allow Him to shape us in a particular way through the circumstances that happen to us. The past year may not have been perfect, but it is  perfect for God's purpose.

-Bo Sanchez

Yes, indeed. The past year may not have been perfect, but it is perfect for God's purpose.

Last night, as 2014 is getting near.. down to only 30 minutes left I go nostalgic again.. and again. Strange feeling that I had. Every memory of 2013 started to come back. All the laughs and tears straight from my heart I felt it all at once. I'm still affected and it hurts me. But I had to keep in mind that another year is about to start and I couldn't always be haunted by the ghosts of 2013.

5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1

Happy New Year!
People started to blow their horns and yell, and fireworks began to blow. It was a magical feeling. I've always wanted to see a sky full of lighters. Words can't express how happy I was at that moment. Not because everyone are partying nor because I saw a sky full of magic. But because I'm happy that I've already let go the heartaches.

Adios 2013! You've been very good to me. Cocked, locked and ready to rock! (Lol. Just a cliche tagline) It confuse myself a lot of times, but still I came out strong. Uncovering the devil out of the angel. It was really tough. I've met new people, tried new things, lost old friends, full service to the Lord. Some were expected and some were not. I didn't regret everything that I have done and given. Although most of the time I was taken for granted.

Even though the sun sets in paradise, there are still good things that remained.

Foolishness, heartbreaks, get away, stupidity.. thank you! I'm so grateful that you happened in my life. I knew your purpose! I'm such a strong girl now.

2013 is not just a walk in the park. Hell yeah! It was an adventure!

So.. ready or not here I am to embrace 2014. 

Happy New Year, guys! :)